Wednesday, August 24, 2011

That nameless something..

God knows us. 
I mean He really knows us. 


I could go many different directions with this, like Psalm 139, one of my favorites that details God truly knowing us from the deepest inside out because He created us, but this time I just wanted to show the aspect that He knows how to reach us. He knows what will break our hearts and what will leave us in awe.  He knows this about people in general, but also the uniqueness in each individual. And it's so incredible because  He not only carries us through our pain, but on the flip side, He draws us closer and captivates us in the many ways He reveals His beauty. And I must say, though I hold up every aspect of God in all of it's glory and reverence and they do all reach me, His beauty truly romances me. 
So, I absolutely LOVE watching the skies. Do you know what I mean? They're constantly changing and no matter the weather or the time of day, whether light or dark, they're just so beautiful. The other day I was pulling out from home to go to work in the morning and I could see just a tiny glimpse of light from the east before the sunrise. Just from that small sighting I knew it would be something great. So as I turned onto the road for work I went, not in the direction of my store, but to the east where I would soon see the sun. I just couldn't help myself. And let me tell you, it was magnificent. Though photos can never fully capture it, here's something of what I saw.  It was a moment of awe for me. The clouds and streams of light expanded as though they were paving the way for something great, something powerful. The sun. It was a moment of witnessing God's glorious creation in the stillness of the early morning and at the same time a beautiful metaphor for the coming King. 
While we're at it, let's take a little look at a recent sunset too..










love it.


I've recently just begun reading, by suggestion of a dear friend,  A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken, which I already love, and in which he describes his first aesthetic experience. He says, 


 "...suddenly something that was, all at once, pain and longing and adoring had welled up in him, almost choking him. He had wanted to tell someone, but he had no words, inarticulate in the pain and glory...That nameless something that had stopped his heart was Beauty."


Though I've just begun, I already recommend this book!


This real, true, magnificent beauty I see all around me, in big ways and small ones as well. Tonight I visited my dear, sweet two-year-old niece, Sophia, whom I just adore. We had a moment together, while in the middle of a conversation with my brother, in which she smiled at me mysteriously. I smiled and gave her a questioning look to which she subtly nodded. I returned the same nod and she filled with excitement and joy, laughing and turning around. We had shared our own special little secret, and it was a big deal. It's things like this that make my heart overflow.


So, tell me, where do you find beauty?


"The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of he field will clap their hands." Isaiah 55:12

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Acceptance.

Here is a post not unlike any other.
It's been a topic of recent postings among others I know, whether the word was used or not, lately, and I feel the need to share something of the same idea. First, I'd like to explain a little about the title of this entire blog. I am here to write, not about one singular topic, but whatever may spring up. I know that I'm not the most interesting one to read, the most insightful, encouraging, inspiring, or what have you. And though I have only just begun, I would sure like to try to do some of these things. The title actually comes straight out of a Switchfoot song. I found it so relatable to me because obviously this world that we live in is jam-packed with people and it can sometimes feel like either 1) you're no different than anyone else/nothing special or 2) you just can't measure up to all of the creativity thrown out by others, particularly in blogging (but of course in many other things as well) because they are all so unique. Well, I'm here to say that I have felt these very same things at times. It's fear, as one friend describes it in her writings. I am afraid that no one will read what I have to say and that if they happen to stumble upon it, they'll think nothing of it because it's just no good. It's not unique. Why would anyone read what I have to say anyway? Of all the bloggers out there, what do I have to say, really? There are so many questions I could list, but there's no reason to. Let's get to the point. I know God, and I know that He loves me, and everyone else on this planet, in an indescribably big way, and that nothing any of us can do (or write) will change that. We are the ones who change, and God is constant in all of His Godly glory. I also know that he created us each very uniquely. At my Friday night homegroup/bible study, a verse we lean on is 1 Corinthians 14:26 which says, "What is the outcome then, brethren? When you assemble, each one has a psalm, has a teaching, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification." In a way, I believe the same thing holds true even in a blog setting. This is somewhat of a gathering place where we share, right? And as believers, this is just another tool to edify one another in Christ.
There was a time, in a past relationship of mine, when I did something that I now see was very silly. I enjoy running, being active, and my boyfriend of the time, who did too, would ask me periodically to go together. For some reason, I would always hesitate and then come up with a reason not to. You see, this guy was a runner and I was insecure and afraid that he would think less of me if I couldn't keep up. I really regret that now because a) I may possibly have missed out on some wonderfully beautiful runs and quality time with him and b) I was the cause of creating a different image of myself in his eyes, the very thing I wanted to prevent! A silly situation I regretted, all stemming out of my own little insecurities.

I feel that writing and the choosing of words is an art, and, being one who falls in awe of most things creative/ed, I love to produce such things. Anyway, whether it's something produced or an aspect of oneself, the fear of acceptance/rejection or just uncertain feedback can loom heavy over all of us. But though we can feel like a needle in a haystack in this world - hard to find, lost in the crowd - that needle is quite different from every twig of hay in the stack. I think it important to say, here and now, that each and every one of us all have great purpose and value and are loved far greater than we can understand, whether it is shown to us in this world or not, by number of blog comments or the amount of friends we make. I want to take the opportunity to encourage you, reader, whether I know you by name or not. If I can do this to even the slightest degree, praise the good Lord for that! And I will strive to do so in the future.
I know that this blog kind of jumps all over the place, but there it is. I guess it did turn out to be unlike any other's post....  unique, even.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

'send a golden message only he would get..'

If the Word of God  is "living and active and sharper than any two edged sword," then would it not make sense to grab hold of such a powerful weapon? Although I haven't done so to any great extent, I have recently been inspired to start memorizing some scripture. What I am beginning with is the book, Second Peter. Why not the first? - you may ask. Well, I was just kind of lead there, and I'm really glad for that. 2nd Peter is really cool! Also, it's not super long, which is a good way to start when you haven't memorized a whole book before. And memorizing it causes me to really really take my time in reading it which is making it speak so much stronger to me! It's awesome. 


"First of all, you must understand this, that no prophecy of scripture is a matter of one's own interpretation, because no prophecy ever came by human will, but men and women moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God." - 2 Peter 1:20-21


******


I'm really pretty tired of my job. No, wait, that's a negative way to start out this section. How about, I am so thankful that I'm employed! I have a paycheck! I work inside with air conditioning, fun partners and some very dear customers. And I do actually enjoy some of what I do. However, here it comes, I'm really pretty tired of it. It's time for something new. So, I've begun to put myself out there in search of acting/technical work now that I'm a fresh college grad! It just takes a little time, and that's ok. Something I am pretty excited about looking more into, though, is a summer job in adventure travel. Yes, you read me right. How perfect for me would this be?!  See and learn about the world, explore, mentor teens, learn wilderness and safety/first aid skills, love on the people I meet through community service projects, and get paid for it! What a job! And it's 4-9 weeks during the summer, which, I might add, is off season for theatre.  I'll update as things, Lord willing, progress.


Speaking of theatre, I'm currently still seeking out more auditions, both stage and film, and sending off HS and Res to casting directors and awaiting callbacks from season generals, which should be pretty soon. :]

********
I finally got it. I don't know why it took me so long, but I now own the latest of Imogen's albums, Ellipse, and it's fantastic. Another collection of beautiful sounds that I love, if you haven't heard, is 'Beautiful Things' by Gungor, a lovely song about how God makes beautiful things out of dust/us. Check it out


********
I love to write. Lately I've been gathering a bunch of my writings and compiling them into one solid book. It's been a long time coming. Perhaps I'll share some poems sometime.
*******
I felt this way about my first kiss, did you?


peace. thanks for reading!


Emily

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Shall we blog?

So I've been feeling a strong urge to blog. I love writing and my thoughts and happenings are often recorded, but on paper (or other various places my pen finds itself). So, I would like to continue, or restart I suppose, this blog that was set up so long ago. Last August, I wrote 'Back to It' and really thought I was. Let's try this again.
Here I am, twenty three years old, a fresh college grad, young, spirited and ready to go. It's time. I need to get out there and explore this world I've so long felt pulled towards. There are so many questions surrounding me right now, mainly ones of the next step towards my career, my goal. Questions expecting a plan and a "where I see myself in five years" answer. Not a bad thing to be diligent in my work but, you see, that's just not me. I do not have a single solitary goal for myself. There are just too many wonderful things! This kid needs adventure, discovery, romance, and wonder. Much of that can be found in my own 'backyard', but I suppose what I'm saying is, I'm now in a transition period. I'm being faced with milestones and the rummaging through things of old, bringing back such sweet memories that have been tucked deep down for some time. Now is the time to act. Let's not let this time, our youth, the years pass by! -says I to mineself. It is time to find a new job. It is time to take a trip, to leave the country, to breathe air on the opposite side of the world again, to write more stories and compile what I have, to act, to make music, to find you, to be me.
I can see that much of my writing may not make much sense to any who happens to read it. But that's ok. If my words are enjoyed, I will be pleased.
Now, shall we blog?

Friday, January 21, 2011

"Though our innocence was taken, not everything is lost.."

Well, it seems I wasn't really 'back to it' in August, except for that one post. I thought I was, but I found myself writing in my journal and at that, not very much. Anyway, I had an urge to write here today as I was sitting in Old Testament Historical Perspectives discussing the happenings in Eden.

I started thinking more about a question that was presented to me a little while back, and that is whether or not there is free will in Heaven. Now, I know that I cannot give the wisest answer, but this is what came to mind today. When I asked myself that question this morning, I replied, 'does it matter?' I stopped, and then responded, "Well, no, it doesn't!" There may or may not be, but by that point, I imagine we won't care. I mean, at the end of time, one who has spent their life on earth longing to be closer to God, who has made up there mind that they want to live eternally with Him, probably won't change it once they're there. It is absolutely possible, not to mention common, for someone to struggle with their relationship, or lack there of, with God throughout their life on earth. But a loving heart devoted to the Lord while alive on earth deciding once in His presence to turn away, seems impossible. There may be that choice, yes, but who could look away?! In the same way, one who has spent their life denying God and choosing to live without Him, may continue to do so after death or may regret the consequences of their choice. In any case, that will be it. But we don't have to wait! God is right here, waiting patiently with arms wide open for us to humble ourselves, come to Him, and get to know him even here. And He has given us ample opportunity and revealed Himself in numerous ways.

So, there may be something called free will in Heaven and that is far greater than this mind can understand. But for this heart it makes no difference. This heart has chosen to love it's first love, the Creator of all things, longs to be with with Him for all eternity, and will never, ever change it's mind.